I Accept the Following as Fact -Reilly Cox

The moon is made of cheese. Such is a popular truth made famous by Don Quixote, a monk living the 13th century known for his contributions to the studies of chivalry and astrology. On the tenth day of any lunar cycle, when the moon is at its zenith of cheesiness, a man living on the easternmost region of the moon begins his process of eating the cheese, therefore causing the slow depletion of the moon’s face. Therefore, on the tenth day after the tenth day of the first cycle, the man finishes the moon, leaving the sky bare fore the span of one breath. Then, the breath having been breathed, the man resumes his toils, collecting the nearby stars and comets (which were later confirmed as also being man of cheese by the astrological explorer Marco Polo) and thus slowly rebuilding the mass of cheese that is the moon. Such has been confirmed and reconfirmed by the scholars of the 8th and 9th Restorations and have since been accepted as fact. 

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